


Scars

by literalprincess



Series: Scars [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Castiel/Dean Winchester First Kiss, Dean and Kids, First Time, Fluff, Hand Jobs, Handprint Kink, Insecure Castiel, Love Bites, M/M, Pet Names, Porn with Feelings, Smut, Teasing, fathering fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-25
Updated: 2015-07-25
Packaged: 2018-04-11 02:58:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,341
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4418456
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/literalprincess/pseuds/literalprincess
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean and Cas are both single fathers. Their daughters become friends and so do they. Neither remember their past lives. Until they do.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Scars

**Author's Note:**

> ok so this fic is like totally unbeta'd so if u see any mistakes kindly point them out !!!! thank u and enjoy!!!!!
> 
> (also, this is the first time I've ever written smut. it's probably awful, but everyone's gotta start somewhere, right?)

"But dad..." Shannon whines softly, her big, green eyes peering up at her father. 

"Come on, Shae! It'll be fun, just go talk to her." Dean encourages softly, tucking his six year old's hair behind her ear. Dean looks at her like she hung the stars herself. Because to him, she had. She was all he had left in this world. 

Ever since his daughter started school, Dean would always take her to the park after she got out. He would sit on a bench and watch his daughter play on the monkey bars, go down the slides, and jump out of the swings when she got as high as she could go. 

Dean was the only one there to clean up her scraped knees and elbows, busted lips, and twisted ankles. Shannon's mother had left him years ago, a couple of months before Shannon's first birthday. He hadn't heard from her since, but he was doing a damn good job as a single father, if you ask him. He had taught himself long ago how to braid hair, how to perfect a ponytail, and if Shannon wanted her hair to look like a picture she'd seen, Dean would try his damnedest to give her what she wanted. 

Shannon sighs and nods, giving her father a quick hug before she approaches the little girl who's been playing all alone in the sandbox. He smiles as he watches them interact, knowing right in that moment that they'll be lifelong friends. 

"Hi! I'm Shannon, but you can call me Shae. What's your name?" Shannon asks softly, running her hands through the sand in the sandbox. 

"I'm Brooklyn! But you can call me Brooke." Brooklyn smiles, handing Shannon a shovel so she can dig in the sand as well.

Dean watches them with a smile, waving when his daughter turns around to smile brightly at him. 

Shannon has trouble sleeping that night, because she's just so excited about making her first ever friend. She crawls into her father's bed around 11 PM, unable to fall asleep without his voice lulling her to sleep. 

———————————————–

The next morning, Dean wakes up to tiny feet pressed to his back, trying to roll him out of bed. He can't help but smile as he turns over to look at his daughter, getting up onto his knees and towering over her as he tickles her. 

Shannon squeals and giggles beneath him, begging him to stop. "Daddy, please!" she giggles, grabbing at his wrists and trying to get him to stop. 

Dean lets out a soft laugh and scoops her up, carrying her downstairs to the kitchen. "What's for breakfast this morning, Shae?" he asks, sitting her on the countertop. 

"Hmm..." Shannon pretends to think, before blurting out, "Waffles!" 

Dean smiles and begins to make the batter, letting Shannon help. It's Saturday morning, so they're in no rush to get things finished and get dressed. He picks Shannon up with a smile on his face, holding her on his hip. He pours the batter into the waffle iron, clicking the radio on and dancing around the kitchen with Shae until the first waffle is finished. Dean puts it on a plate, pouring the batter for the next waffle into the iron. 

Just then, the doorbell rings. Dean hums along to the radio as he walks to the door with Shannon still clinging to him. He opens the door slowly, looking down to see Shannon's new friend, Brooke. And then back up, to see a man that he presumes to be Brooke's father. 

Shae grabs Brooke's hand and races off to her room to show her her toys. 

"Oh, God, Brooklyn!" Castiel calls softly, sighing. "I'm really, very sorry about her. She's rather excitable." he says, holding his hand out. "Castiel Novak. I'm Brooke's father, and your neighbor, apparently." Cas chuckles softly. "But you can call me Cas, if you want." he smiles. 

Dean shakes Castiel's hand, smiling. "Don't worry about it, kids will be kids." He says, realizing his still in his pajamas. "Please, come in. Sorry that I'm not, y'know, decent. We just got up." he says, chuckling nervously since he's in nothing but a pair of flannel pajama pants in front of a reasonably attractive man. More than reasonably attractive, through. Dean looked at him for a few moments longer than necessary, studying his lips and his eyes and the way his eyebrows furrowed after a moment too long of Dean staring. 

"Oh, don't worry about it." Castiel smiles softly. "It's early, and we're uninvited. I should be apologizing to you." he says. Dean motions for Cas to come in and sit down, and Cas happily takes him up on his offer. 

"Coffee?" Dean asks, cursing softly as he realizes that his waffle is burning. He gets it out, sighing. "Dammit," he mumbles, throwing it away before pouring Castiel a cup of coffee. "Do you take cream, or sugar, or anything?" he asks, pouring more batter into the waffle iron. 

"Uhh, just sugar." Cas hums, sitting down at the kitchen table. He takes the coffee gratefully, sipping at it. Dean had made his coffee absolutely perfect, which is something that no one but him ever does. He sips it happily. "Waffle?" he hears Dean ask. He hums and nods, "Are you sure it's not a lot of trouble?" he asks, just as he hears Dean scoff softly. "If I didn't want to make you a waffle, I wouldn't have offered." he smiles, putting the waffle on a plate and putting it in front of Cas. He puts butter and syrup on the table in front of him, grabbing the other waffle and sitting across from Cas as they eat breakfast together. 

"So, did you and Brooklyn just move here?" Dean asks in between bites. He can't help but notice how blue Castiel's eyes are. 

Cas nods as he swallows. "Yeah. Brooke and I lived in Georgia before this. We moved after her other father left." he says softly, sipping at his coffee. 

"Oh, I'm so sorry, Cas." Dean says softly, a look of empathy gracing his features. "Shae's mom left just before she turned one." he says, taking a drink. "But, I mean, look at her." he smiled. "I think I'm doin' a pretty kick-ass job." he smiles, taking another bite. 

Castiel smiles as he takes another bite as well. "Can't argue with that." he winks, finishing up his waffle. "Thank you so much, really." he smiles, shaking Dean's hand again. 

"You're runnin' out on me so soon?" Dean asks, holding his hand right where it was. "Come on, stay for a while. Shae and I were gonna barbecue for lunch, you can just stick around join us." He offers softly. "I'll even put a shirt on." He laughs, clapping Cas on the back. "Sit down, I'll go get dressed, and when I come back I'll have two open beers. Sound good?" he smiles, jogging up the stairs to get dressed. He puts on a regular pair of blue jeans, a pair of boots, and a flannel button up. 

Typical Dean, really.

He comes back down and grabs a couple of beers from the fridge, popping them open and handing one to Cas. He sits down next to him, turning the TV on. "You like football?" he asks, pressing the beer to his lips. 

Castiel nods. "Hell yeah." he laughs, downing a fourth of his beer.

————————————————

Six months later, Castiel works up the courage to ask Dean on a date. 

They're sitting on a bench next to the park, watching their little girls play together. Dean elbows Cas in the ribs, laughing softly at a stupid little joke he'd made. 

"Hey, Dean?" Cas says softly, his palms sweaty and clammy. He feels insecure as he takes a deep breath, looking over at him. He breaks eye contact as soon as he makes it, his eyes searching the ground, like maybe it'd tell him what to do. 

"Cas? What is it?" Dean asks, laying a hand on his shoulder. He pulls away when Cas flinches. "You're scaring me a little, man." he says softly, his eyebrows knitted in confusion. 

"I wanted to know," Cas starts, taking a deep breath. "If maybe, since the girls are going to that sleepover on Saturday," he pauses again, balling up his fists. "You wanted to, like, hang out?" He says nervously, finally looking up at him. 

"Jesus, Castiel." Dean laughs, throwing an arm around his shoulders. "Of course we're gonna hang out. We always do." he says, patting Cas a couple of times on his back before placing his hands back in his lap. 

"No, Dean. I meant, like, I wanna make dinner." Cas stammered out, his cheeks completely flushed. 

"Okay. Sounds cool. Why would I ever turn down food?" Dean says casually, crossing his ankles as he watches Brooke and Shae chase each other around the playground. 

Cas sighs and shakes his head. "I'm trying to ask you on a date, Dean." he says under his breath, his voice shaking. 

"Didn't quite catch that, Cas." Dean says, looking over at him. He waits and waits for Cas to say it again, sighing. "Dude, c'mon. It's not gonna be weird, we shared a sleeping bag on that camping trip last week to keep warm, for God's sake." he says, placing a hand on his shoulder. 

"I'm asking if you want to go on a date with me, Dean." Cas says shyly, staring at the ground, and then he hears Dean laugh. 

"Shit, Cas. You're not kidding." Dean says after a few moments, and he looks over to see Cas' eyes watering the tiniest bit, even though he knows he'd just deny it if he asked. "God, dude, what do you think we've been doing for the last three months?" he laughed softly, scooting a bit closer with his arm still around Castiel's shoulders. "As far as I'm concerned, our first date was the waffles I made you for breakfast, man." he says, ruffling his hair. "But, yes, Castiel." he starts, smiling. "I will come over to yours after we drop the girls off, I will let you cook me dinner, and at the end of the night I will go home like a respectful adult." he says, pressing a soft kiss to Cas' already-flushed cheek. 

Dean found Castiel so interesting and endearing. All Cas ever seemed to do was ask questions. Questions about Dean's life, his feelings, anything about him. And Dean was an open book with him. Except for the part where, even though he is definitely, one hundred percent not gay, he had feelings for Castiel. He denied it at first, pushing the thoughts to the back of his mind. He would leave Shae at Cas' house to play with Brooke while he went out and found some random girl to fuck in his car before he drove home, usually quite a bit more than buzzed. Cas was always the one who cared for him. He got him out of his stinky and sweaty clothes and into bed, almost every night for an entire month before he finally confronted Dean about it. 

————————————————

(3 weeks earlier)

Dean swung by Castiel's house, just like he had almost every night for the last few weeks. He started to turn around when Cas grabbed his wrist. He turned around and told Brooke to show Shae her toys, still holding Dean's wrist. 

Dean looked down at where their hands touched, earning a blush from Cas. He pulled his wrist away, looking up at him with watery eyes. "Fuck, Castiel." he whispered, walking forward and laid his head on Cas' chest. He immediately felt a pair of arms wrap around him and he dug himself deeper into the embrace. "I'm so tired, Cas. I'm not a good father, I'm a terrible father." he whispered, crying against him as he was moved to the couch. Cas shook his head and hauled Dean upright, holding him close. He sighed softly and rubbed his chest. "Oh, Cas." he cried, fisting his shirt. "I'm so sorry," he began and he meant it. He let his sadness pour out all over Castiel's shirt, looking up at him. 

"Want you to kiss me," he had whispered against Castiel's neck, looking down at him. 

Cas had refused him all night long, since he knew he was only doing this because he was drunk. The next morning, he tells Dean that he has to stop, or he and Brooke will have to leave, since he doesn't want his daughter around this kind of reckless behavior. 

Dean nods, understanding. He doesn't touch a drop of alcohol for weeks. 

————————————————

(Now) 

Dean is sitting at Castiel's table, having been ordered not to get up. He decides that he can't wait any longer to see Castiel, so he sneaks up behind him while he cooks, snaking his arms around his waist from behind. "Boo." he whispers, kissing his ear. 

Castiel shivers against Dean, turning around to face him. "God, you're beautiful," he mumbles, barely letting it slip. 

Dean is the one blushing this time, He presses a soft kiss to Castiel's forehead, his lips lingering for longer than necessary. 

Cas turns back around to finish dinner and Dean nuzzles his nose into Cas' neck. He smiles as his lips brushes against the skin, leaving soft, unstructured kisses on his neck and jaw. 

Dean's hands are now on Castiel's waist, rubbing his thumbs in circles. "Cas, baby," he breathes down his neck, feeling him shiver under his touch. He slips his hands under Castiel's shirt, leaving an intentional kiss right below his ear, just as he's pushed away. "Red light, Dean." Cas whispers. "This may not be the first date to you, but it is to me." he says softly. "It's not that I don't want to do this, I do. I just feel dirty doing it so soon." he blushes. 

Dean smiles at how cute he is. "Don't sweat it, Cas. I understand." he says softly, pulling him into his arms innocently. He kisses his temple, rubbing the small of his back. "Let's finish dinner, okay?" he says. 

The entire time they're cooking, Dean doesn't take a hand off of Castiel. 

Cas just leans into his touches. 

They finish dinner, cuddle a little on the couch, and if Dean falls asleep on Castiel's chest, they don't have to talk about it. 

————————————————

Their first kiss is a week later.

The girls are at another sleepover, and Cas was at Dean's house this time. They lay on the couch in their usual position: Dean leaning against the arm of the couch, with Castiel's head in his lap. Dean combs his fingers through Cas' hair absently, until eventually they both fall asleep. 

Tonight seems to be a little different, though. 

Dean scoots down so that both of them are laying down on the couch together, Castiel on top of him since he's slightly smaller. Dean slips a hand under Cas' cotton t-shirt, rubbing small circles into his hip with his thumb. He hums as he feels Cas readjust, slipping one leg between Dean's thighs, his other one laying on top of Dean's. They both continue to just watch TV until Cas looks up at Dean, sighing softly. 

He looks up at Dean, his head on his chest as he listens to his heartbeat. He hears it start to quicken as he feels Dean shift around, lifting up the back of Castiel's shirt. Cas quickly shuts him down, pulling his shirt over his bare back with a blush on his cheeks. "Dean, I can't." he whispers, pressing their foreheads together. 

He's never showed anyone the two large scars that stretch from his shoulders, all the way down his back. They're ugly and big and he hates them so much. He doesn't remember where they're from, all he knows is that one day, he woke up in bed with a beautiful man and a child crying in the next room. He had twisted the ring on his finger, figuring he was married. 

And that was that. He played along, but according to Brooklyn's father, he just wasn't the same Cas anymore. That's when he left, and moved to Kansas. That's when he met Dean, that's when he finally became happy. 

Dean nods, eyes full of understanding. "Hush, Cas. I'm not going to rush you, okay? I just like to feel you, yeah? You told me no once, I wouldn't try anything else unless you started it." he promises softly. He cups his angel's face, pressing their lips together slowly as he sat up a little, his hands on Cas' waist, over his shirt. 

Cas moves his lips against Dean's, his arms snaking around his neck slowly. He nips softly at Dean's bottom lip, placing his hand on his shoulder. 

Dean feels a shiver run through his body, and he pulls away reluctantly. "Did you feel that, Cas?" he whimpers, his hands still loosely placed on Cas' hips. 

Cas nods, swallowing thickly. "What happened?" he whispers, rubbing over the spot he touched previously. 

Dean gasps softly, jerking away. "Fuck, Cas. Gotta stop that." he whispers, rolling his sleeve up to show him the hand print on his shoulder. "I don't know where it came from. I don't know why it's there, all I know is that when you touch it..." he trails off, biting his lip, "Electricity shoots through my whole body. In a good way." he blushes softly, kissing Cas again. 

Cas inches his hand up toward the handprint, making direct contact and lining his hand up exactly. He sees a flash of white hot light, followed by visions of people with black eyes and others with sharp teeth. He comes to a few seconds later, his hand still on the handprint. He looks at Dean. "Did you see that too?" he whispers, their faces still extremely close. 

Dean nods and leans up, cupping his face. "What the hell," he breathes, burying his head in Castiel's shoulder. 

Cas removes his hand from Dean's shoulder, wrapping him in a hug. "Good question, Dean." he breathes. They fall asleep in one another's arms, feeling terrified of whatever just happened. 

At least they have each other. 

——————————————

It doesn't happen again for six more months, the first time Dean makes love to Castiel. 

They've all been living together for about a month, now. Cas and Brooklyn had moved in with Dean and Shae. 

Dean and Cas are laying in bed, Dean's arms wrapped securely around Castiel's waist. Dean still hasn't seen the scars on Cas' back. Cas never took his shirt off, and Dean never pushed him to. But tonight, seemingly out of nowhere, Cas sits up in bed. The girls are downstairs, definitely asleep at this point. Cas looks down at Dean, who's still laying down. 

"Cas? You good?" Dean asks, taking his hand and lacing their fingers together. He notices that Cas looks insecure, frightened. He sits up with him, laying his head on his shoulder and pressing a soft kiss to his neck. 

"I'm okay, Dean." Castiel nods. "I wanna show you something, and I'm very scared you'll think I'm...unappealing." he says quietly, tugging at the hem of his shirt. "But you deserve to know, you deserve to see them." he says, peeling his shirt off to reveal two large scars, straight down his back. He hangs his head in shame, his legs folded up under his body. 

Dean looks at the scars for a moment. "Cas, Baby," he breathes, cupping his cheek. "Is this the reason.." he doesn't even have to finish his sentence before he sees Cas nodding. "Shit, babe, you're so beautiful, this changes nothing." he whispers, running his fingers over the scars. 

Dean sees the same flash of white hot light that Cas saw when he touched his handprint. He sees Cas, he sees him with giant, black wings that would stretch from one end of their house to the other. He shivers and looks at Cas, the vision over. "What the hell," he mumbles, pressing a soft kiss to one of the scars.

Nothing happens this time, it's just like kissing skin. So he ignores it for now, telling himself that Cas needs his attention more than anything right now. Dean looks down at Cas, pressing their lips together. "Cas, baby, listen to me." Dean whispers, scooping him up into his arms. "You are still the most beautiful human I've ever met. You always will be," he says against his mouth, laying down with Cas on top of him. He enjoys the feeling of their bare chests pressed together, letting Cas slide between his legs. 

"Dean," Cas says simply, the desperation in his voice evident. He doesn't have to say anything else before Dean is nodding, his hands roaming Castiel's body. 

"You sure, Cas?" Dean whispers, smiling when Cas nods. "Okay, let's do this." he smiles against his skin, flipping them over and letting Cas lay on his back. He strips Cas of his pajama pants, to find that he wasn't wearing boxers. He giggles softly and kisses his chest gently, pulling his own boxers off. "Castiel," he manages, grinding their hips together slowly. The sound that comes out of Castiel is otherworldly. It's like he's never been touched before in his life. 

And in Castiel's mind, he hasn't. He has no memory of ever having sex with anyone, not even his previous husband. He looks up at Dean, biting his lip. "Please don't hurt me," he begs softly, his hands on Dean's biceps, carefully avoiding the handprint so that he wouldn't ruin this moment. 

"I wouldn't dream of it, Cas." Dean says gently, grabbing a half-empty bottle of lube and getting it on his hand. He wraps a hand around Castiel's cock, his movements deliberate and slow. He swallows up every noise that Cas makes, kissing him deeply. He can tell that Cas is getting close, even though Castiel himself can't. He pulls away, leaving a soft kiss on his nose. "Not yet." he breathes, trailing his lube-slick fingers down toward Castiel's hole. He circles his index finger around his entrance, before pushing in slowly. 

Cas lets out a loud moan, and Dean has to lean up and kiss him to muffle the noises. "Kids, downstairs." he breathes. "Don't care," Cas moans, and Dean laughs at that. He pushes in all the way to his knuckle, sliding down Castiel's body slowly. He kisses his thighs slowly, sucking deep purple marks into his skin. 

Cas yelps and moans in surprise and desperation, his cock leaking slowly. He grinds against his boyfriend's finger, "More, Dean. Please, I need.." he trails off into another high-pitched moan as he feels another finger slip inside him, his legs spreading instinctively. 

Dean kisses over the bruises he's made, his breath ghosting over Cas' cock. He leans forward and kisses the very tip of his cock, sucking on the head softly. He watches Cas arch his back, fisting the sheets. He stops for a second and thinks about how fucking lucky he is to have found Cas. 

"Don't stop, Dean, why'd you stop?" Cas whimpers, his legs spread in desperation. Every sense that Cas has is heightened. All of his skin is more sensitive to Dean's touch, Dean's taste is still on his lips. He hears every sound Dean makes, watches every single move. But more than anything, he can smell him. He can smell their scents mixed together, and it's something he never wants to forget. He wants to have this moment forever. 

Dean slips in a third finger just for that, moving them toward his prostate. He finds it quickly, his head dropping against Castiel's hip as he listens to him. "Fuck, baby, you sound so good," he breathes, pulling his fingers out slowly. He watches Cas clench around nothing, moving to kiss softly over his hole. "My good boy, right?" he says softly. 

Cas whines and nods. "Yes, Dean. Please, it hurts," he breathes, complaining of the loss. Dean just nods and lubes his cock up, pushing into Castiel slowly. He lets out a deep groan, fucking into him slowly. 

They both let out noises of desperation, Castiel's legs wrapped around Dean's waist.

Dean chuckles a little at that, pressing their lips together as he fucks him slow and deep. "Tell me what you want, baby. I'll give you anything, I'll give you the whole world." he pants, his lips pressed to Cas'. He moves down to his neck, giving him a dark purple hickey. He giggles at that, marveling in the way it looks against Cas' tan skin. "Fucking hell," he groans, picking up his pace as he slams into Cas' prostate over and over again. 

Cas cries out loudly and desperately, his back arched as he clenches around Dean. And then he's coming, his hand flying up to press against Dean's handprint, and Dean's wrapping around Cas to touch his scars. 

That's when they remember. They remember their past lives, before they woke up in beds with a couple of strangers. Castiel is an angel, and Dean is a hunter. Dean has a brother, he has other hunter friends. 

Cas has no one but Dean. 

Dean continues to fuck him through their orgasms, looking at him with longing and sadness. "Castiel..." he breathes, pressing their bodies as close as he could. He needed to feel safe again, he needed to feel loved. 

Dean slowly pulls out once they're both finished, looking at him. "I'm scared," he whispers truthfully, holding Cas tightly. 

"I'll protect you, Dean. I remember who I am, and I will protect you until my dying day." Castiel breathes. 

Dean just nods. "I should call Sam," he mumbles, but he stays right where he is. "It's been 5 years, he can wait for 12 more hours. I need you right now." he whispers to Cas, almost like a soft plea. 

Castiel nods, scooping Dean into his arms as he pulls the covers over him. 

"You'll always have me."

**Author's Note:**

> find me on tumblr at deanhoe.tumblr.com
> 
> also, im thinking about doing a part 2?? so let me know if tht's something u guys would like or want !!


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